Combining a work career and parenting at home can give a person a stressful life. There are so many things going on at once every day and too many things that do not get done properly. Do you often face this kind of situation?
I do and I like to blame this stressful environment as the root cause of my soaring cholesterol level. My spouse however, says that it is the fried food that I like to eat coupled with a sedentary lifestyle. I still say that it is due to stress and a person should know his own body better, right?
To “de-stress”, I have learned to do simple things that do not cost a lot of money. Money is a common worry, not that we do not make enough but because we want to preserve and make it work for us. Hence, keeping our financial situation in good proper condition needs work as well.
Below are some of my ways or methods to pick myself up when I am feeling down or despondent and beat stress at the same time:
• Call and talk to a friend. Sometimes going online and writing an email to a friend helps a lot. It is almost as good as talking to someone. It also means that I am keeping in touch with my friends as well.
• Eat something. You can call it comfort food but I do control the portion as well as the type of food that I eat. It does not have to be food as sometimes a good cup of hot aromatic coffee works for me as well.
• Read a good book. I am lucky as I live near a public library. I get to visit it at least once a week. There is nothing like losing myself in a good book for awhile and forget about my worries.
• Get some exercise. I have a stationary bicycle at home if I want to sweat it out for a few minutes. I also find it a good time to think as I cycle to nowhere. So I get to do two good things simultaneously, exercise and find a solution to a problem.
• Take a nap. This sometimes helps as a way of taking a short break. This is actually my spouse’s favorite way of de-stressing. Make your room as comfortable as possible and taking an hour of nap can do wonders for a tired mind and body.
photo credit: Flyinace2000
Of course you can only do some of the things above when your kids are occupied. My kids could be busy doing their homework or engrossed in a good two hour movie on TV. I also take turns with my spouse in taking care of the kids so that one person can have time off from the responsibility. What are your tips for beating stress at home?
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As a mom, you must have heard or read about the countless benefits of breastfeeding your baby. If you still have reservations about the side-effects of breastfeeding or have false ideas about it, read on to learn the truths.
photo credit: Raphael Goetter
It is painful
Breastfeeding should not be painful. If it is, your baby may not be sucking or latching on properly. Breastfeeding can be a great bonding process with your baby.
It makes the boobs saggy
Pregnancy will affect your breast due to the physical and hormonal changes. Then there is also milk production to nourish the baby. It is actually good as it helps your breasts return to its pre-pregnancy shape faster. Women who plan to breastfeed should be happy with this news.
You need big boobs to breastfeed
The size of your breast makes no difference to your ability to breastfeed. It does not matter whether you have big boobs or small ones. The milk production is in the glandular tissue which is not affected by the breast size.
Breastfeeding prevents me from getting pregnant
In the first six months, the chance of conceiving is low if you continue to breastfeed and your menstrual cycle has not returned.
Having an inverted nipple means breastfeeding is not possible
Having a sticking-out nipple makes it easier to breastfeed but not necessary. Getting the right advice or practice will ensure breastfeeding is still possible.
Likewise having a C-section
After a C-section (Caesarian) does not mean you cannot breastfeed. It is up to you to find a comfortable position that enables you to breastfeed easily.
Choosing either breastfeeding or bottle-feeding
A mom does not have to choose one and stick to it. A lot of moms have successfully combined both in order to give their babies the benefits that go with breastfeeding and bottle-feeding.
Guilty feeling if not breastfeeding
Some women feel that they have failed as a mom if they do not breastfeed. Some women prefer not to breastfeed for various reasons. They should know that breastfeeding is only one part of the love they will be providing throughout the growing up years. There should not be any guilty feelings for not breastfeeding. There are many other ways to bond with the baby including giving lots of hugs and cuddles.
Therefore, having learned all of the above should encourage women breast feeding their babies to continue with their practice.
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Jaundice is a common illness that affects newborns especially in the first few days of a baby’s life. The obvious symptoms or signs of jaundice are the yellow color of the baby’s skin, eyes and mouth. The whites of the baby’s eyes and the skin inside his mouth will also appear yellow.
The seriousness will vary in every baby. Your doctor may do a blood test to check how severe the jaundice is in your baby.
What causes jaundice?
The human body makes bilirubin when the old red blood cells are broken down. This is processed by the liver but in babies, the blood cells have a shorter life. Hence, more bilirubin goes through the baby’s liver. If the baby’s liver is not mature enough to handle the bilirubin, it causes jaundice.
How long does it last?
The jaundice will slowly disappear as the baby’s liver matures. It may take longer for the signs to disappear in breastfed babies compared to bottle-fed babies.
The treatment
The treatment will depend on the severity of the jaundice. If the bilirubin level is not too high, there is no treatment necessary. The normal treatment for serious cases is by using phototherapy which uses a special light to break down the bilirubin in the baby’s skin.
photo credit: treehouse1977
Your baby will experience some side effects like loose stools, a raised body temperature or even dehydration. In a most severe case, the baby may need a blood exchange transfusion where new blood is transfused to replace the old blood which is removed.
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You have just gone through the ups and downs of pregnancy and now you finally get to hold your baby face to face. Hence, the first few weeks may need some getting used to as you now have an additional person to take care off. Below are some of the things you may expect to encounter during the first 6 weeks with your baby.
1st week
You may still feel sore and tired and still recovering from the effects of labor. All attention is normally on the baby as everyone tries to settle down into a new routine. Do not be surprise to see that your baby is losing weight during the first week. This is normal.
2nd week
Some mothers are still feeling tired and more attention is needed to take care of their health. Good nutrition and enough sleep and rest is important but may be difficult to acquire. If you get any assistance from family members, it would be very helpful to you. Hiring a nanny or a companion is not uncommon nowadays especially for the first few weeks to assist in taking care of the newborn. Your baby will be sleeping a lot around this time, 15 – 16 hours a day.
3rd week
You will know your baby’s routine by now and you have learned to do your own things when the baby is sleeping. Your baby will want to feed often and will also be more alert. Some babies may also start to display signs of having colic around this time. He may be crying for more than 3 hours a day, for more than 3 days a week.
4th week
This week, you may feel like going out with your baby as you should be feeling strong and fully recovered. You and your baby will have settled down to a daily routine and you may notice your baby’s sleeping pattern as well. Prepare a carryall bag to keep all the necessary baby stuffs you think that is needed for an outing. Going out will become faster and easier as you just need to grab the bag each time.
photo credit: Bjørn Giesenbauer
5th week
Generally, you should be feeling happy and energetic. However, if you find that you are feeling down, tearful, unable to sleep and worry a lot, you may have Post Natal Depression (PND). Talk to your doctor about your symptoms for advice. Your baby will be making a lot of eye contact and loves to hear your voice. Learn to differentiate your baby’s cries on whether he is hungry, tired or in pain.
6th week
By this time, you should be feeling in control of your life once more. You may want to give more attention to the other areas of your life, for example your relationship with your partner. Your baby will love playing and interacting with you. Most babies will also start to sleep for 5 to 6 hours at night.
Personally, the first four weeks were normally tough for me. Feeling tired and sleepy are common and all activities centered around the baby. On top of that, the baby has not learned to sleep through the night yet and hence, sleep was only 2 – 3 hours at a stretch each night.
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Sex is a big issue between married couples. It is an important aspect in a marriage relationship and therefore has to be maintained. Women are particularly concern about it especially right after giving birth. Some of these concerns are brought up below.
#1: When is the right time to have sex?
Women who had a normal vaginal delivery can resume their sex life after the bleeding has stopped. Those who had a Caesarean section or a complicated delivery that requires an episiotomy should refer to their doctor for advice. The woman should be physically and psychologically ready before she resumes her sex life. The time length varies for different women and can be within a few weeks or even up to a year.
#2: Will sex be different after a baby?
There may be some loss of sensation as the vagina was stretched during the delivery. You can tone back the vagina by doing some exercises on the pelvic floor muscles. Your partner generally does not have an issue on this matter as he is more concern about resuming physical intimacy with you.
#3: Is contraception needed immediately?
Contraception is important as soon as you resume sexual intercourse. Women have been known to get pregnant within a month of delivery or while still breastfeeding their babies.
#4: Will my partner see or treat me differently?
This issue needs to be discussed by both partners to prevent any misunderstandings. The right answer will vary for each couple and there should be a mutual agreement at the end.
#5: After giving birth, will the woman’s libido be affected?
There is a possibility that the woman’s libido or sex drive is low. Having a new responsibility and taking time to recover from the birth experience will no doubt affect the woman’s libido. Hence, both partners should work together to maintain the physical intimacy or affection in various ways such as cuddling or massaging each other. The woman’s libido will eventually return but needs to be worked on with the help of the partner.
photo credit: HAMED MASOUMI
To get useful advice on other marital issues that are affecting the marriage relationship, get a free report at http://Tips4Everyone.com
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A study of 100,000 children born between 1980 and 1996 was done and it was found that the fatality rate is higher for children whose father is over 45 years of age. These children by older fathers died due to problems related to congenital defects, for example of the heart and spine as well as epilepsy, schizophrenia and autism. The study compared the deaths of children of older fathers to the children fathered by men aged between 25 and 30 years of age.
Sperm quality affected by ageing
Of the total children studied above, 830 have died even before the age of 18 and many of whom were below the age of one. Another research found that older fathers were more likely to father a child with Down’s syndrome that is four times higher. An explanation for this may be due to the genetic quality of sperm which deteriorates as the men gets older.
Throughout the years, most research is focused on the mother instead of the father. Most people are aware of the increased risks from having an older mother, for example higher rates of Down syndrome which is one in 100 by the age of 40. The risk of miscarriages also increases with the mother’s age. However, people should also be aware of the increased risk posed by older fathers. Scientist is still unable to determine the exact effect or impact on the quality of sperm due to the ageing process. Hence it is not possible to detect problems or defects before conception.
Lower IQ link to late fatherhood
An additional reason to have children earlier is related to a study that found that fathers who have children later have higher risk of having children with slightly lower IQs. Older fathers have been link to children that scored lower on various tests that cover speaking, arithmetic, reading, motor skills, etc. Researchers found that men’s testosterone levels start to decrease gradually at age 30. The recommended or ideal age for men to have children is in the 20s and early 30s.
photo credit: foundphotoslj
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Bonding with your baby is natural thing to do for most parents. Most babies bond readily soon after birth. For some parents, it can take time to bond and for others, it can be an instant feeling of love from the first contact.
3 ways to bond with your baby
• Kissing – Gently kissing and stroking your baby often is a show of affection and love towards your baby that greatly promotes bonding.
• Skin to skin contact – Babies love to be held and cuddled. Having direct skin contact is soothing and reassuring for your baby as he absorbs your warmth and smell as well as hears your heartbeat.
• Talking – Talking or doing ‘baby-talk’ like cooing is important. When your baby is older, he will respond by cooing and make baby sounds.
The importance of bonding
Having a loving relationship with an adult is critical for the baby’s social brain growth. The orbitofrontal cortex is the social part of the brain that needs to be developed during the critical early years, i.e. up to 3 years old. Your baby needs a loving relationship during this period to help his social brain to grow. If the baby does not have this, there is very little chance for this part of the brain to develop adequately or fully recover from the effect.
Your baby will benefit from being loved, cuddled or held closely and it does not matter whether it is the mom, dad or even the nanny who does it. Apart from breastfeeding, the dad can do just about everything the mother is doing including holding, cuddling and bonding with the baby. Let your baby spend time with other caregivers as well like the grandparents, older siblings or caregivers as there is no limit to the number of people he can bond with.
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It is natural to feel tired and overwhelmed when you have a baby around. You may be feeling that there are so many things to do but you are unable to complete any of the tasks.
Prioritize
Do what is immediately important first. Forget about mopping the floors or ironing the clothes. Learn to live in an “imperfect” situation or environment temporarily until everything is more settled down. The most important thing is to take care of the baby and yourself.
Establish a routine
It is easy to organize your work once you have a set routine. Establish a feeding and sleeping pattern for your baby. It helps to keep a baby log and to write down what your baby is doing on a notebook. Help your baby to have a set time for feeding, sleeping, bathing and playing. You will be better organize once you know the pattern.
Do not refuse an offer of help
If someone offers to help you with taking care of the baby or in doing the household chores, do not refuse. In addition, get your partner to help out when he is around. You can take the opportunity to have enough rest or sleep.
If you have friends planning to visit you, it is fine to refuse or postpone their visit. They will understand your situation and would not be offended.
For your grocery shopping, your partner can do it alone or you can request help from your parents, parents-in-law, relatives or friends.
Baby crying
All babies cry and yours is no exception. Some babies cry more and it is important to find out the reason. Try to find out if your baby is crying due to a wet nappy, he is feeling hungry or tired or he is having a tummy-ache, etc. Some babies may cry without a reason or they are colicky. Knowing the reason will help you to handle the situation better. Hence, if you recognize that your baby is in one of his continuous crying bout due to colic, it helps to leave the room for a few minutes or to call someone close to you.
Lastly, get in touch with other friends who are mothers or get to know other moms on the internet. Talking or chatting and exchanging experiences help to keep things in perspective and make motherhood more enjoyable for you.
photo credit: ephotography
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Newborns are very fragile and many new parents have doubts on their ability to bath their newborns. To do it right, read the guidelines below to ensure a safe and pleasant bath for your baby.
#1: Choosing the right bath
Parents will have their preferences on the type of baby bath to use. For all my children, I use the same baby bath placed on a waist high table. This way, I do not need to squat down and all the things I wanted were easily placed within reach on the same table.
#2: Ensure the room is warm and comfortable
Close the windows if necessary to ensure your baby is not exposed to the cold air.
#3: Prepare all the necessary bathing items beforehand
Get the things ready within reach before you start bathing the baby like towels, cotton wool balls, baby soap and shampoo, nappy cream and clean nappy and clothes. Prepare the bath and make sure the water is warm and not hot. The water should be no higher than 12 cm and should just reach the babies shoulder in the bath while being supported by you.
#4: Always support the neck and bottom
One hand shall be supporting the baby’s head and neck and the other supporting the bottom. Once you have placed the baby in the bath, one hand should continue to support his head, neck and shoulder. The free hand shall be used to wash him.
#5: Washing the right way
The correct way is to go from top to bottom and from front to back. You can use cotton wool or a small towel to clean his face and head.
#6: Drying off
Have a towel ready nearby to wrap your baby and to dry him off. Ensure that the creases and folds of your baby’s skin are patted dry.
After several rounds of the above, you will find that bathing your baby gets easier each time. For the first week or two, it is fine to just ‘top and tail’ your baby, i.e. cleaning the face, head and bottom part only. Choose the correct time to have the bath when the baby is not tired, hungry or right after a big feed. Never leave your baby alone and unattended in the bath due to the high risk of drowning.
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Flat head syndrome or positional plagiocephaly is the term used to describe the flattening of the baby’s head, which is caused by external pressure.
Why do babies get it?
Flattening is common right after your baby is born although it can also start in the womb and also during birth. Your baby is born with soft bones in his skull, which is very easily molded in the early weeks. Simply spending a lot of time in one position will cause your baby’s head to flatten. A firm mattress and more time spent in a car seat may also contribute to the condition.
Having a flatten head does not affect the baby’s brain development. However, it is best to get it check if you notice that it is so severe.
What can you do to help?
• Repositioning your baby’s head often will prevent pressure and flattening to a particular spot.
Alternately, put your baby to sleep with his head facing up, left or right.
• When you put your baby in his car seat, use a neck support to reduce pressure on his head.
• Instead of using a buggy, use a sling to carry him.
• When your baby can support his head already, let him play on his tummy instead of lying on his back.
• There are parents who have used special helmets or headbands to address this condition successfully.
The flatten head condition should correct itself with the above suggestions by the time your child goes to school. My own children had mild conditions of flatten head and repositioning was good enough to address the problem for them.
What is your experience on this condition? Please share your own experience with your children.
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