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Do you have a child who is about to start school next year? How do you prepare your child to ensure he is not afraid of going to school?

My three year old daughter is about to start playschool next year. Her two older brothers started playschool when they were two years old. The eldest had a terrible time adjusting to school and it took several months before he settled down. The second one had no problem whatsoever and enjoyed the whole experience.

I am not sure what to expect from my daughter but I hope seeing her brothers go off to school every morning and coming home in the afternoon helps her to accept the idea of going to school herself.

Below are some of the steps I am taking to prepare her for school. Doing them is suppose to help allay her fears of the unknown and to tell her of what to expect when she goes to school.

• Taking her to the school once in awhile to introduce her to the new place.

• Preparing all her school outfits including shoes and bag. I wanted her to get used to the idea of having specific outfits she will wear to school.

During the first week of school, I have prepared myself to be available to ensure she adjust well to the new experience. I am hoping that having seen her two brothers and sending them to school together helps her to accept the experience easily.

What is your way of preparing your child for school?

When your child starts school or heads back to school, he is sure to encounter problems in school. I have two school going children ages 8 and 10 years old. Below are three familiar problems that I hear often from them now and again.

#1: “I don’t like my teacher!” She is mean!”

The right thing to do when your child complains on the above is to listen and ask questions. Your child might be venting and after doing so, he may feel better. You can also offer to talk to the teacher concerned later.

The above helps because you are building your child’s confidence by believing in his ability to rescue himself. You have also shown yourself to be a good sounding board and safety net.

#2: Your child is facing a big test or has a project due soon and unsure of what to do. “Mom/dad, please help I don’t know what to do!”

The right approach is to ask questions, listen and offer advice or assistance. Give your child guidance and support. Do not take over as this prevents the child from learning how to help himself. Taking over also means giving the child the message that he will fail without the parent’s help.

Doing things himself means getting the satisfaction, pride and confidence of knowing he can do things for himself.

#3: “A group of students like to pick on me!”

As always, the best approach is to listen, ask questions and offer advice. Evaluate the situation whether it is serious and needs parental intervention or not. You can suggest talking to the students to work out any disagreement if needed. Otherwise, let your child handle the situation first and give it sometime to see if he can settle the problem himself.

photo credit: Môsieur J.

When your kids were born, you were the happiest parent, feeling very proud of each one of them. You feel blessed and enjoy seeing them grow up. However, there are days when you do not really like them and wished that they are not around. Your kids appear to be terribly naughty, greedy and spoiled that you cannot stand being around them. Is this kind of feeling perfectly normal?

According to child experts, it is normal to feel that way at certain times. A different way of looking at it is by asking the question,” Do you always like all the people you love, for example your spouse?” Besides your children, you may have similar feelings about your spouse and even your parents. I believe there have been times when you wish you were single and living alone again.

Well, I bet your kids probably aren’t crazy about the parents either at certain days. So it happens both ways.

It probably helps to tell your child, “I don’t like your behavior.” Doing this helps to separate your child from his actions. However, if you turn violent every time, then you need professional help. It you see that your resentment does not fade away quickly or is prolonged, then get professional help or advice.

According to the experts, having negative feelings encourages the development of conscience in your child. It teaches the child to mend his behavior after getting a negative feedback from the parents. Hence, don’t beat yourself up for having bad feelings towards your children. It can happen at certain times and to all parents.

photo credit: Manky Maxblack

The scenario:

Your three year old has been naughty the whole morning, refusing to eat his breakfast and spilling his food on the kitchen floor creating yet another mess apart from the strewn toys in the living room. On top of that, the baby is fussy and you finally manage to settle him down around noon time for his afternoon nap. However, your three year old has been getting worse and refuses to take a short nap like his little brother. Feeling tired and cranky, you scream back at him after he screamed at you for refusing to give into his demands.

Does this situation sound familiar to you? Experts say losing patience can happen to anyone and recognizing that you have a short fuse is the first step in taking control. The truth is that it is not your child’s fault that you lost your patience and temper. It is your problem for losing control.

It is your responsibility for setting and enforcing limits on your child’s behavior and taking action. You have to determine beforehand, before things get out of control, what to do in specific situations. You must be consistent or else your child will take advantage of you.

In addition, have reasonable expectations from your child. If not, you will only frustrate yourself each time you wait for him to comply to your rules. You cannot change your child’s temperament but you can always change how you view the situation and the way you handle it.

It is perfectly normal for parents to lose their cool once in awhile. Parents are only human and not 100 percent perfect. It is okay to make mistakes and apologize for it later.

photo credit: Kıvanç Niş

The teenage years which are mostly spent in high school will probably be a complicated as well as an exciting time for your teenager. Whether your teenager will enjoy high school or not will depend a lot on his social skills. An important part of having good social skills is in managing anger. Learning to manage anger is best learned from young at home. There may be various reasons for your child’s show of anger such as when not getting what he wants or not getting his way or feeling disappointed about something.

As a parent, it is beneficial for you to learn how to deal with your child’s display of anger. First, understand if he is showing unreasonable or inappropriate behavior. For example, a child who is tired or who did not get enough sleep will be more prone to this behavior.

photo credit: sizumaru

Teach your child to manage his anger by outlining some simple rules of control such as:

• Counting to ten slowly before talking again
• Taking deep breaths to calm himself
• To speak out in a soft voice instead of shouting
• To speak politely and not to say bad or hurtful things
• Not to hit out to hurt others or himself
• Find alternative ways to vent his anger like punching a pillow, running in the garden, etc.

Of course, you as the parent should be a good role model for your child. I know this is not easy sometimes. I have to admit that there have been times when I lost my temper and said a lot of negative words to my own kids.

Hence, you may want to adopt some strategies or ways that work positively. For example,

• Always speaking in a soft voice
• Always mean what you say
• Using time-out to get some reprieve from an explosive situation

You can adopt some or all of the ideas above. Both parents and child will benefit greatly from them especially in the long run.

A child with a positive sense of self-worth will grow up to be a responsible and happy adult. On the other hand, a child with a negative sense of self-worth may grow up feeling insecure and pessimistic. So how do you build up your child’s self-worth?

Traits or signs of positive self-worth:

• Your child is eager to try new things
• Your child is confident in his ability to carry out a task
• Your child is happy and contented
• Your child admits to feeling being loved and is a lovable person

Traits of signs of negative self-worth:

• Your child is pessimistic
• Your child is generally irritable, fearful and avoids new experience
• Your child may complaint often of feeling unwell and appears lethargic
• Your child may complaint often of feeling unloved and also finds it difficult to show loving feelings

Generally, children who grow up in a loving home or environment and getting enough attention or care have a high sense of self-worth. However, for those that grow up in an unstable home and encounter emotional abuse and neglect will obviously have a low sense of self-worth.

Hence, parents play an important role in providing a positive and loving environment for their children in order to nurture their self-worth. The children need positive interaction with the parents and thrive when they receive lots of hugs, smiles, encouragement and love. Therefore each time you hug your child, remember that you are building his sense of positive self-worth.

photo credit: gcoldironjr2003

Teenagers are old enough to understand about money better compared to when they were younger. However, it would be too much to expect them to understand the entire workings of the family’s finances.

What to tell your teen?

Generally if the family’s finances are stable and under control, it is fine to tell your teenager that the family is comfortable enough without worrying about the next pay-check.

However, if the money situation is shaky and the future does not look bright, it is appropriate to tell your teen about the bad situation. For 12 years old and below, it is better not to say you have problems paying the bills as this may worry them excessively and have them feeling insecure.

For older teens of 13 years old and above, it is acceptable to tell them about the bad financial situation and the steps you are taking to solve the problem or find ways to improve the situation. You can also ask for your teen’s opinion on how to help you with the finances.

Older teens should be required to take some responsibility for certain money issues. For example, if your teen wants to buy something which exceeds his allowance, he should be encouraged to earn the extra money instead of just getting the money freely from you. If he has some savings, then he should use his savings to top up the balance.

If you discovered that your teen has been spending way too much of his allowance at the shopping mall, what do you do?

If you want your teen to learn the consequences of unnecessary spending, then you should not intervene. Let him discover the results of not saving part of his money. At the same time, he will learn the importance of saving for the future.

photo credit: AH!Photography

The teenage years which are mostly spent in high school will probably be a complicated as well as an exciting time for your teenagers. Whether your teenager will enjoy high school or not will depend a lot on his social skills.

In high school, children will tease, bully and pick-on others. There are also different groups of students such as the popular kids, the nerds, the geeks, etc. Your teen will have to try and fit in somewhere. What can you do to help him if he is facing a difficult time to fit in? What if he is the nerd or geek and unable to find his place? The following are some ideas on how you as a parent can help protect your teen’s self-esteem as he goes through this important period.

#1: Communicate with your teen that whether he is popular or not in school will not make a difference when he moves on and leave school. Assure him that the adult world will be different. Give him examples of successful people like Bill Gates.

#2: Teach your teen to have positive thoughts and to act positively. Tell him about the laws of attraction and to attract good things in life only.

#3: You can constantly remind him of his positive traits or strengths and to focus on them. Remind him of his natural talents as well, for example he may be good in drawing or playing the guitar, etc.

#4: Compliment your teen often. Praise him when he has done something good and praiseworthy. This helps to boost up his self- confidence.

#5: Last but not least, be his confidante by talking to him and lending an ear to his worries or problems. Remind him often that you are available whenever he needs to talk to someone. Share your own personal stories or experiences and solve problems together.

photo credit: ShutterMoth

photo credit: Sébastien Barillot

In the process of parenting your child, there must be many occasions where your child displayed expressions of anger. Your child will most probably throw a tantrum while expressing his anger. There may be various reasons for his show of anger such as when not getting what he wants or not getting his way or feeling disappointed about something.

As a parent, it is beneficial for you to learn how to deal with your child’s display of anger. First, understand if he is showing unreasonable or inappropriate behavior. For example, a child who is tired or who did not get enough sleep will be more prone to this behavior.

Teach your child to manage his anger by outlining some simple rules of control such as:

• Counting to ten slowly before talking again

• Find alternative ways to vent his anger like punching a pillow, running in the garden, etc.

Of course you as the parent should be a good role model for your child. I know this is not easy sometimes. I have to admit that there have been times when I lost my temper and said a lot of negative words to my own kids.

Hence, you may want to adopt some strategies or ways that work positively. For example,

• Always speaking in a soft voice

• Using time-out to get some reprieve from an explosive situation

You can adopt some or all of the ideas above. Both parent and child will benefit greatly from them especially in the long run.

Parents may be the one to push their child to excel in extra activities for fear their child will be left behind or missing out. Of course, the last thing any parent’s want is to have their child being overloaded or overwhelmed.

To ensure that your child is coping well, look out for the warning signs below that indicate otherwise. Some of the major signs that signal your child may be overloaded are:

• Your child complains of feeling tired or exhausted

• Your child is depressed

• Your child complains of stomach aches due to being under stress


photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

To rectify your child’s busy schedule, below are some tips you can refer to:

• Make a proper schedule of your child’s activities to see things clearly and to properly organize

• Ensure that your child gets enough rest time during the week

• Instead of adding a new activity to a busy schedule, replace an old one. Drop an existing activity in order to add a new one keeping the number of activities the same per week

Discuss with your child about his activities and his schedule from time to time. Decide together when cutting back is necessary to ensure your child’s overall well being.