Besides sickness, one thing parents cannot run away from is discipline problem. There is a general agreement in the parenting community that there is no straightforward way to solve discipline problem. Child experts also present different views and approaches to handling this problem. Some may advocate time-out, withholding privileges and grounding while others may recommend corporal punishment.
So as parents, what are we to do? Well, I for one do not mind to try all the recommended approaches to see which one is workable. I believe these methods did not simply come out of nowhere. Certain methods may work for one child and may not work for another. So, finding those that work on your own kids is more of a trial and error process.
The parent’s duty
As a parent, it is our duty to teach our kids what are good and bad behaviors. We will be the one who feel embarrass if our kids bite, bully, fight, steal, etc. Dealing with a discipline problem is not a one time thing. The problem usually does not go away immediately. It normally takes time, patience and commitment. That is why you may often time feel that you are repeating the same advice again and again to the same problem.
The worst thing a parent could do is ignoring a discipline problem. Without a parent’s intervention, your child will not know what he is doing wrong. Even if he does know and there is no action taken by the parents, he will think it is nothing serious. You as a parent can only expect the problem to worsen. If the problem is not dealt with earlier on, the bad behavior becomes a habit and will be tougher to change.
Do not be stingy with praises for good behaviors. This helps to reinforce the message that good behaviors are acceptable. Since we are the role model in our children’s life, make sure you as a parent presents a good example in the first place. Have you ever notice that when you use a curse word, your child is so fast to pick up and use the same word in his vocabulary? Therefore, at times we need to work with ourselves first before we try to solve our children’s problem.
Some of the common problems you may encounter are:
• Inappropriate anger
• Extreme anxiety
• Biting
• Bossiness
• Bullying
• Fighting
• Does not listen
• Lying & cheating
• Selfishness
The above are some of the problems you can expect to face and deal with as a parent. Take heart knowing that parents everywhere are faced with similar problems and dilemma. Therefore, you are not alone.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I had seen a friend punished his son using the “naughty chair”. He made the child sit still for 10 minutes. The kid was not allowed to move away from the chair. This is a very frustrating moment for the 3-years-old boy. But I think it is very effective because it doesn’t involve physical punishment and the boy is made to reflect his mistake.
Different parents have different methods that work. It is good if you have a method that works well. Just remember to explain to the child why he is being punished or the child will not learn anything and continues to make the same mistake.