Coping with the death of a loved one is not easy. If possible, we do not want to hear or be associated with it. Hence, it is something parents naturally want to protect their children from.
We cannot run away from death as it is a natural part of life. Some of the ways parents guard their children is by avoiding using the words ‘died’, ‘dead’ or ‘passed away’. Another way is just by saying, “We lost grandfather”, “Grandfather is with God” or “God took grandfather away”. This method may backfire as your child may become fearful of God.
It is advisable to be straightforward with your child instead of avoiding the truth in order to cushion the sadness and reduce the impact. Below are some suggestions on how to help your child to face the death of a loved one easier or better:
- You can share your own feelings and thoughts.
- Talk about the memories, especially the good and happy ones.
- Encourage your child to talk about his feelings. You can suggest that he draws pictures that reflect his feelings.
- Answer any questions that he asks honestly.
- Continue to maintain the same family rituals, like celebrating Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. This is one way to commemorate the parent who is gone.
- Also maintain family traditions like going to the park every Saturday, picnics once a month, etc.
- Get an aunt, uncle, grandparents, stepparent or even a close family friend to step in and join in the activities that the child did with the deceased parent. This is done with the child’s consent first.
- Find children’s books from your local library or bookstores that deal with death.
Although the above do not compensate for the pain of losing a loved one, it helps the child to cope with his grief in the long term.
If you have other ideas, ways or methods that help, please share them here with the other readers.