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Do you have a child who is about to start school next year? How do you prepare your child to ensure he is not afraid of going to school?

My three year old daughter is about to start playschool next year. Her two older brothers started playschool when they were two years old. The eldest had a terrible time adjusting to school and it took several months before he settled down. The second one had no problem whatsoever and enjoyed the whole experience.

I am not sure what to expect from my daughter but I hope seeing her brothers go off to school every morning and coming home in the afternoon helps her to accept the idea of going to school herself.

Below are some of the steps I am taking to prepare her for school. Doing them is suppose to help allay her fears of the unknown and to tell her of what to expect when she goes to school.

• Taking her to the school once in awhile to introduce her to the new place.

• Preparing all her school outfits including shoes and bag. I wanted her to get used to the idea of having specific outfits she will wear to school.

During the first week of school, I have prepared myself to be available to ensure she adjust well to the new experience. I am hoping that having seen her two brothers and sending them to school together helps her to accept the experience easily.

What is your way of preparing your child for school?

When a person is knee-deep in debts, he may choose to ignore his problems until it is too late. One reason may be due to ignorance. Another reason is he probably thinks he is doing just fine as his friends are also in the same situation. Are you in the same predicament?

Being in debt is no laughing matter especially if you are a parent supporting a family. What are the warning signs that signal debt is taking over your life?

• You cannot break off from a continuous debt cycle. You have not been debt free for ages.

• You borrow money to make ends meet.

If you identify with the situation above, then it is time to own up and develop a plan to pay off your debts.

photo credit: Casey Serin

photo credit: timsamoff

Nowadays, it is a common sight to see that every household has a computer. It is also common to be hooked up to the internet and everyone in the house can surf the World Wide Web. Hence, children accessing the computer are exposed to the dangers of the internet. I gleaned the information below from a locally published newspaper which I found very useful.

Children’s Internet Safety Tips

• Do not give out personal information like your name, home address, school name, school address or parent’s name.

• Do not create online profiles that normally request for personal information.

• Do not visit or join chat rooms without parental consent.

• Do not meet online friends in a private online situation. Get parental guidance when doing so.

• Do not visit new Websites without parental consent.

• Do not send, post or receive pictures through the internet.

• Do not reply to any instant messages or to unknown emails or postings.

Parent’s Internet Safety Tips

• Do not place a computer in your child’s room. Place it in high-traffic areas.

• Educate your child on the safety tips above.

• Install screening software in all the computers.

• Do not allow your child to spend a long time on the computer and it is necessary to monitor them often.

• Instruct your child to refer to you if he ever encounters ‘obscene, suggestive, strange, or threatening emails or messages.’

• Be alert when your child tells you something unusual that he learned through the internet.

• Go through unfamiliar emails or messages or postings that your child receives.

• Children tend to forget easily, therefore post the above safety rules beside the computer.

When your child starts school or heads back to school, he is sure to encounter problems in school. I have two school going children ages 8 and 10 years old. Below are three familiar problems that I hear often from them now and again.

#1: “I don’t like my teacher!” She is mean!”

The right thing to do when your child complains on the above is to listen and ask questions. Your child might be venting and after doing so, he may feel better. You can also offer to talk to the teacher concerned later.

The above helps because you are building your child’s confidence by believing in his ability to rescue himself. You have also shown yourself to be a good sounding board and safety net.

#2: Your child is facing a big test or has a project due soon and unsure of what to do. “Mom/dad, please help I don’t know what to do!”

The right approach is to ask questions, listen and offer advice or assistance. Give your child guidance and support. Do not take over as this prevents the child from learning how to help himself. Taking over also means giving the child the message that he will fail without the parent’s help.

Doing things himself means getting the satisfaction, pride and confidence of knowing he can do things for himself.

#3: “A group of students like to pick on me!”

As always, the best approach is to listen, ask questions and offer advice. Evaluate the situation whether it is serious and needs parental intervention or not. You can suggest talking to the students to work out any disagreement if needed. Otherwise, let your child handle the situation first and give it sometime to see if he can settle the problem himself.

photo credit: Môsieur J.

Living within your means is a well worn advice given to adults who are perpetually struggling to get a handle on their finances. It is a greater challenge when you are a parent supporting a family.

Living within your means is actually easier said than done. It entails adjusting your lifestyle and being contented with what you have. There are times however when I feel tired of having to watch my spending and feeling guilty whenever I purchase something on impulse.

photo credit: memyni

Being human also means once in awhile, I do give in to feeling envious of others who are more well off than me. Thoughts of “If only I had more money”, tend to pop up now and again whenever I stick to living within my means. So, it is a constant personal battle.

To overcome the above, I practice feeling gratitude. I am grateful for everything in my life especially my loved ones and my good health. I also give thanks everyday for not having to worry about paying off debts or putting food on the table.

Set your own level of satisfaction

I have learned to be happy with what I have. There is also nothing wrong with wishing for better things (more material things) and being envious of other people who are richer. I allow myself to do that. I have set my own target for different stages of personal satisfaction, 10 being the highest. For example,

Combine Net worth with Spouse…………………………Level of Satisfaction

RM500,000……………………………………………………………………………. 4
RM750,000……………………………………………………………………………..5
RM1,000,000……………………………………………………………………………6
RM1,500,000……………………………………………………………………………7
RM2,000,000……………………………………………………………………………8
RM2,500,000……………………………………………………………………………9
>RM2,500,000…………………………………………………………………………10

The above is only an example and doing it means I know where I stand and not to worry when I see someone more wealthy. I only focus on my own goal and living within my means is one way to achieve my target.

As a parent, the added benefit is being a good role model to my children. So far, they have shown restrain when using their pocket money and do not simply spend unnecessarily or thoughtlessly. I want my children to learn that living within their means is an important part of managing their money successfully.

When your kids were born, you were the happiest parent, feeling very proud of each one of them. You feel blessed and enjoy seeing them grow up. However, there are days when you do not really like them and wished that they are not around. Your kids appear to be terribly naughty, greedy and spoiled that you cannot stand being around them. Is this kind of feeling perfectly normal?

According to child experts, it is normal to feel that way at certain times. A different way of looking at it is by asking the question,” Do you always like all the people you love, for example your spouse?” Besides your children, you may have similar feelings about your spouse and even your parents. I believe there have been times when you wish you were single and living alone again.

Well, I bet your kids probably aren’t crazy about the parents either at certain days. So it happens both ways.

It probably helps to tell your child, “I don’t like your behavior.” Doing this helps to separate your child from his actions. However, if you turn violent every time, then you need professional help. It you see that your resentment does not fade away quickly or is prolonged, then get professional help or advice.

According to the experts, having negative feelings encourages the development of conscience in your child. It teaches the child to mend his behavior after getting a negative feedback from the parents. Hence, don’t beat yourself up for having bad feelings towards your children. It can happen at certain times and to all parents.

photo credit: Manky Maxblack

The scenario:

Your three year old has been naughty the whole morning, refusing to eat his breakfast and spilling his food on the kitchen floor creating yet another mess apart from the strewn toys in the living room. On top of that, the baby is fussy and you finally manage to settle him down around noon time for his afternoon nap. However, your three year old has been getting worse and refuses to take a short nap like his little brother. Feeling tired and cranky, you scream back at him after he screamed at you for refusing to give into his demands.

Does this situation sound familiar to you? Experts say losing patience can happen to anyone and recognizing that you have a short fuse is the first step in taking control. The truth is that it is not your child’s fault that you lost your patience and temper. It is your problem for losing control.

It is your responsibility for setting and enforcing limits on your child’s behavior and taking action. You have to determine beforehand, before things get out of control, what to do in specific situations. You must be consistent or else your child will take advantage of you.

In addition, have reasonable expectations from your child. If not, you will only frustrate yourself each time you wait for him to comply to your rules. You cannot change your child’s temperament but you can always change how you view the situation and the way you handle it.

It is perfectly normal for parents to lose their cool once in awhile. Parents are only human and not 100 percent perfect. It is okay to make mistakes and apologize for it later.

photo credit: Kıvanç Niş

Combining a work career and parenting at home can give a person a stressful life. There are so many things going on at once every day and too many things that do not get done properly. Do you often face this kind of situation?

I do and I like to blame this stressful environment as the root cause of my soaring cholesterol level. My spouse however, says that it is the fried food that I like to eat coupled with a sedentary lifestyle. I still say that it is due to stress and a person should know his own body better, right?

To “de-stress”, I have learned to do simple things that do not cost a lot of money. Money is a common worry, not that we do not make enough but because we want to preserve and make it work for us. Hence, keeping our financial situation in good proper condition needs work as well.

Below are some of my ways or methods to pick myself up when I am feeling down or despondent and beat stress at the same time:

• Call and talk to a friend. Sometimes going online and writing an email to a friend helps a lot. It is almost as good as talking to someone. It also means that I am keeping in touch with my friends as well.

• Eat something. You can call it comfort food but I do control the portion as well as the type of food that I eat. It does not have to be food as sometimes a good cup of hot aromatic coffee works for me as well.

• Read a good book. I am lucky as I live near a public library. I get to visit it at least once a week. There is nothing like losing myself in a good book for awhile and forget about my worries.

• Get some exercise. I have a stationary bicycle at home if I want to sweat it out for a few minutes. I also find it a good time to think as I cycle to nowhere. So I get to do two good things simultaneously, exercise and find a solution to a problem.

• Take a nap. This sometimes helps as a way of taking a short break. This is actually my spouse’s favorite way of de-stressing. Make your room as comfortable as possible and taking an hour of nap can do wonders for a tired mind and body.

photo credit: Flyinace2000

Of course you can only do some of the things above when your kids are occupied. My kids could be busy doing their homework or engrossed in a good two hour movie on TV. I also take turns with my spouse in taking care of the kids so that one person can have time off from the responsibility. What are your tips for beating stress at home?

The teenage years which are mostly spent in high school will probably be a complicated as well as an exciting time for your teenager. Whether your teenager will enjoy high school or not will depend a lot on his social skills. An important part of having good social skills is in managing anger. Learning to manage anger is best learned from young at home. There may be various reasons for your child’s show of anger such as when not getting what he wants or not getting his way or feeling disappointed about something.

As a parent, it is beneficial for you to learn how to deal with your child’s display of anger. First, understand if he is showing unreasonable or inappropriate behavior. For example, a child who is tired or who did not get enough sleep will be more prone to this behavior.

photo credit: sizumaru

Teach your child to manage his anger by outlining some simple rules of control such as:

• Counting to ten slowly before talking again
• Taking deep breaths to calm himself
• To speak out in a soft voice instead of shouting
• To speak politely and not to say bad or hurtful things
• Not to hit out to hurt others or himself
• Find alternative ways to vent his anger like punching a pillow, running in the garden, etc.

Of course, you as the parent should be a good role model for your child. I know this is not easy sometimes. I have to admit that there have been times when I lost my temper and said a lot of negative words to my own kids.

Hence, you may want to adopt some strategies or ways that work positively. For example,

• Always speaking in a soft voice
• Always mean what you say
• Using time-out to get some reprieve from an explosive situation

You can adopt some or all of the ideas above. Both parents and child will benefit greatly from them especially in the long run.

A child with a positive sense of self-worth will grow up to be a responsible and happy adult. On the other hand, a child with a negative sense of self-worth may grow up feeling insecure and pessimistic. So how do you build up your child’s self-worth?

Traits or signs of positive self-worth:

• Your child is eager to try new things
• Your child is confident in his ability to carry out a task
• Your child is happy and contented
• Your child admits to feeling being loved and is a lovable person

Traits of signs of negative self-worth:

• Your child is pessimistic
• Your child is generally irritable, fearful and avoids new experience
• Your child may complaint often of feeling unwell and appears lethargic
• Your child may complaint often of feeling unloved and also finds it difficult to show loving feelings

Generally, children who grow up in a loving home or environment and getting enough attention or care have a high sense of self-worth. However, for those that grow up in an unstable home and encounter emotional abuse and neglect will obviously have a low sense of self-worth.

Hence, parents play an important role in providing a positive and loving environment for their children in order to nurture their self-worth. The children need positive interaction with the parents and thrive when they receive lots of hugs, smiles, encouragement and love. Therefore each time you hug your child, remember that you are building his sense of positive self-worth.

photo credit: gcoldironjr2003