There are parents who tend to overindulge their child especially if it is an only child. The other common reason for overindulgence is to compensate for their guilty feelings for not being home enough to care for the child.
Go over the questions below to find out if you are guilty of overindulging your child:
• Does your child have difficulty understanding the word “No”?
• Is your child unreasonably demanding for attention and material things?
• Do you tend to do things for your child knowing that he is actually capable of doing them?
• Are you afraid of saying no for fear that your child may dislike you?
• Are you afraid of setting limits for fear that it will make your child unhappy?
How to avoid being an overindulgent parent?
Overindulging your child for a proper reason is fine but to make it a common practice may not do him any good. Below are some tips for you:
• Practice to say no to unreasonable demands and mean it. As a parent, you know what is good for your child. You may want to protect your child from disappointments but he needs to learn it from young.
• Allow your child to make mistakes and learn from his mistakes. It is part of growing-up.
• Do not give your child things that you wanted but did not get when you were growing up.
• Set proper limits or rules as your child is growing up to teach him discipline.
• Set and practice your family’s values everyday.
• Teach your child the value of money early in life. Refer to this article for more ideas, “Simple Ways to Teach your Child the Value of Money”.
• Encourage your child to earn his own money in order to learn about working hard and smart and taking responsibilities.
As parents, my partner and I try hard not to overindulge and spoil our children. However, their grandmother tends to be “ too good” to them and they take it for granted. So, we are facing a dilemma on how to deal with this issue. Once in awhile, we have to remind the grandmother not to spoil our kids too much. Have you ever faced a similar situation like this before?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Pointing out that only children are more indulged than children with siblings is feeding the continued and antiquated myths about onlies. We have been a culture of Yes-Parents no matter how many chidren we have. Those interested can read more about parenting issues and only children at http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons
from When Does Mothering Become Smothering? to How Stereotypes Form and Are Only Children Bossy and Spoiled?
Susan Newman, author of Parenting An Only Child
Hi Susan, I apologize if my article directly implies that all ‘only child’ are overindulged by their parents. The message is that the possibility is high for parents to do so with an only child. This can be seen in China where there are a lot of ‘only child’ as a result of the one-child policy.