Most couples would like to have children of both sexes. My spouse and I were hoping that when I conceived, everything would go according to plan. My first child is a boy and when we planned for the second one, we wanted it to be a girl. Well, things normally do not turn out as planned, and we had another boy. We waited for five years before trying again for a girl. We are happy to finally get the girl we wanted. We have decided that our family is now complete as raising children nowadays takes proper financial planning and three children is the limit for us.

Boys vs. girls: Which one is easier to raise

When you are parenting children of both sexes, it is normal to make comparison in their behavior. You will actually see the differences starting from when they are babies. No child is alike and it is not due to the gender differences either. My two boys are completely different. The first one was a happy contented baby and slept a lot while my second one was a bit colicky and did not like to nap. The first one is a bit of an introvert whereas the second one is very talkative and inquisitive.

Being boys, I like to play rough with them and they like it. They fell down a lot throughout their growing up years as they cannot seem to sit still. They enjoy playing with toys whether it is a toy truck or a cookery set. Only when they are older, their preferences tend to veer towards boy stuffs like toy guns and cars.

My daughter seems to fall somewhere in the middle of the two boys. She was very contented as a baby but did not like to sleep for long periods as well. Being a girl does not deter her from climbing all over the furniture in the house. She likes to play with her teddy bear as much as she likes to play with her brother’s toys.

Based on my experience, I will not say raising one gender is easier compared to the other gender. Both genders have their differences and I have experience frustrating moments with both although in different situations. As a parent, I learn about their personalities, their likes and dislikes and it is normal to encounter bumps along the way. My conclusion is boys and girls are hard to raise but in different ways.

I would love to hear a parent say that raising their child has been smooth sailing all the way. I may be able to say that when my kids are older, much, much older and all grown up.

What is your opinion on the above? I have friends who say girls are much easier to raise than boys. What do you think based on your parenting experience?

photo credit: GoonSquadSarah

If you are a parent, you know that parenting can be complicated and difficult at times. You also make mistakes unintentionally. Below are the common parenting mistakes which you should avoid.

Taking sides in arguments or fights

Parents normally do not see the lead-up to an argument or to the fight. Hence, it is difficult to judge clearly who is in the right or wrong. The recommended things to do are to help sort out the problem, set clear rules, suggest alternatives like play heads or tails or punish them all collectively for behaving badly or for breaking the rules.

Not following through with warnings

This is a common thing for parents to be guilty of. I can say almost all parents have made this mistake before. We threaten our children, for example no cartoons for a week but end up we often fail to carry out the threat. The advice is if you make a threat, ensure that you follow through. Make the threat realistic so that it is easy to enforce. At the end of the day, you teach your child about boundaries and consequences.

Talking about the children when they are listening

I have made this mistake countless of times. The problem is children tend to accept the description or labels we use on them. For example, if you label your child as a fussy eater, then he will refuse to try new food. Hence, be careful when talking about your children in front of them.

Both parents do not present a united front

Both parents should discuss beforehand on certain parenting issues and decide on the proper actions to take, the boundaries or rules for your children, etc. Doing this helps to prevent parental conflict and your child playing one parent off against the other parent.

Being a perfectionist

You want to do the best for your children but it is alright to make mistakes from time to time. Do not stress yourself out trying to accomplish many things and achieve many goals at the same time. This will only make you easily tired and frustrated. Just believe in yourself as a parent and that you are doing the best for your children.

photo credit: freeparking

Before you make any plans to have a child or to have more children, there are a lot of factors to take into consideration. Get yourself and your partner thinking on the following questions and discuss them openly. These questions are examples only and you should further discuss issues that you think may be important. If everything is agreeable and there are no obstacles, having the child will be a happy and momentous occasion.

Sample questions to discuss together:

• Why do we want a baby/ more children?
• Are we ready financially
• Are we able to provide a comfortable home for the child?
• Who will look after the baby after it is born?
• Will one partner quit his/her job to stay home to look after the new baby?
• Are you willing to sacrifice your time (less time for yourself) to bring up the child?
• Are you ready for the extra burden (more responsibilities) of taking care of another person?

Well, the truth is becoming a parent can seem the job from hell for some people. It is therefore important to share the responsibilities with your spouse or partner. Once you have cleared away all the doubts and crossed all the hurdles, your reward will be a beautiful new baby. It is a goal both you and your partner work hard on to make a reality.

The mother has nurtured the baby for nine months inside her womb and has gone through an unimaginable labor. The baby has to be worth all the hard work, preparations and worries and therefore deserves loving parents. The last thing you would want is to have a baby without any forethoughts or preparations. With the proper planning, the end results are happy parents and family and that happiness should stay forever as you raise your children.

At one time or another, a parent would have asked the question ‘When is a good time to start teaching the kids about money?’. Teaching your children on the value of money is an important area and there is no one answer that fits all. It is all up to the parents and each family unit is different. So, a method that works for one family will most probably would not work for another family.

A good place to start

Where do we start? As parents, we have gone through our childhood and grown up to be adults. Compared to our children, we have definitely learned more things, good and bad, what works and what does not work. This is a good way to start teaching your children about money, by sharing your own experiences.

You can start from when you were young, when you started schooling, the amount of pocket money you received back then and when you started to earn money by yourself. You can share your savings method, if you had one. Maybe you used a piggy bank and had a savings account to deposit all the gift money, extra allowances and extra pocket money you did not used. You can relate your difficult experiences, on how it was tough in the old days to accumulate money. I believe your children would love to hear your experiences and stories regarding money.

About my parents

I know I did. I loved to hear my mom’s own experiences when she was young. It was a tough life for her back then. Having a higher level of education was certainly a great advantage during her time if you had one. Unfortunately, my mom did not manage to even reach Primary One (Malaysia’s education system) due to financial constraints and general life hardship. My mom’s contribution to the family’s finance was by doing things she was able to do. She took up a job as a cook (a basic life skill), she washed other people’s laundry (another basic life skill) and she even took a job as an office cleaner.

My father managed to complete Primary Six and that was good enough to ensure an office job throughout his life. However, it was still a tough life and a struggle for both my parents to build a comfortable life for themselves and their family.

What I learned

What did I learned from my parents experience? I learned that for some people like my parents, money was not easy to come by. When they had money in hand, they tend to safe-guard it carefully. Generally, I prefer to lead a frugal life just like my parents did. I learned to appreciate money for what it is, as a means to a comfortable life. Money is not everything but to have money is better than to have none. Nowadays, it can afford you better education, better health-care, better living environment, etc.

Now that I have children of my own, I love to tell them stories about my own upbringing and my experience with money. Their grandmother still loves to tell her own stories about her life when she was young. I hope that my children do learn something from all these life stories but I am confident that they will as I did too.

Therefore, it is a good way for you to start as well. Your children can learn from your mistakes and continue to practice the methods that work for you. Who knows, they would want to past it on to their own children and grandchildren and so on.