photo credit: lepiaf.geo

Not every parent wants to stay home and commit to doing fulltime childcare and housekeeping. It can be a tough, tedious and lonely work. I have heard parents’ complaint that they feel lonely with no adults to talk to. In addition, there are no perks that come with the parenting job.

The following are some of the common reasons to be a stay-at-home mom or dad:

• They want to be available to their children fulltime.
• They find it hard to accept the idea of sending their children to childcare or daycare centers. Generally, they doubt the quality provided by these centers.
• They do not want to miss any part of the children’s growing-up period.
• They want to ensure that their children get the best attention, guidance and care which only parents can provide.
• They want to avoid the hassles and pressure of juggling between family responsibilities and job responsibilities.
• They want to be able to nurse their babies fulltime.
• They do not believe in gender stereotyping. For example, the male partner should go out to work and be the breadwinner and the female partner should be a stay-at-home mom only.

A parent gets peace of mind and feel emotionally comforted knowing the child is well taken care off at home. There are also the rewards that come with being home with the child. For example, the parent does not miss the precious milestones during the growing up years like the first steps taken or the first time the child learns to do something.

Are you a stay-at-home parent? What are your motivations for being one?

Recognizing that you have low parental self-esteem is important as this will encourage you to make changes or improvements. Parents who have low self-esteem will influence their children to be the same. Therefore, it is important to improve or raise your self-esteem in order for your children to follow suit.

What are the signs of low parental self-esteem?

Read through the list below and if you notice that they are common experience for you much of the time, then you most probably have low parental self-esteem.

• Most of the time, you are unable to complete your parental responsibilities. You lack the enthusiasm to complete or get them done.
• When you are at home, you feel depress and have lack of energy.
• You like to keep things simple and avoid activities involving the entire family in order to evade any hassles.
• You feel that other people are unable to do things properly. You tend to do things that you wish others would do.
• You feel that your children are controlling your life.
• A lot of times, you feel inadequate and not capable of handling your children.
• You always hold the thought that other people are doing a better parenting job compared to you.
• You always have the urge to get away from your family responsibilities.
• You often have the urge to be in control of your children as you are afraid they would get out of control.
• You find it difficult to discuss with your spouse about issues concerning the children as both of you tend to disagree. So, both of you avoid the discussion.

What can you do to raise your parental self-esteem?

Different people will find different ways that work for them depending on their background and situation. The idea is to find ways to obtain satisfaction from your parenting job and family life. Wise parents would go the extra mile and put more effort to reach this goal. Below are some ideas that may work for you.

• Make the effort to have time alone with your spouse or partner every week away from the rest of the family.
• Make it a ritual to spend time alone with each of your children, one-on-one.
• Start or practice family traditions to bring family members closer together and to create good memories.
• Practice to say “No” especially to your children if they are unreasonably demanding.
• Make the effort to have time for yourself to do as you like. If you love music, get your own personal music player.
• Maintain your friendship and have social gatherings with your close friends.
• Have a better planning to ensure all your tasks are completed. With better planning, there is less chance of interference or postponements.
• Make a pact with yourself not to lose your temper or shout for one day in a week.
• Once in awhile, make a list of the things that you are most grateful for in your life.

Your goal is to be a wise parent with high self-esteem. When you have achieve this level or condition, you will gain immense satisfaction and happiness from your family life. You will be calmer, more in control of your life, have more patience with your children, and have a better sense of humor, among other things.