Women commonly experience postnatal depression or the baby blues right after giving birth. Do you know that men can have depression as well? The focus has always been on women as they are more willing to seek help whereas men tend to keep quiet about their problems.

The father’s role is as important as the mothers’ and the children will be affected if either parent has mental health problems. Fathers should be aware that studies have shown children whose fathers have this problem are likely to have behavioral disorders or psychiatric problems as well. It is true that mothers are the main child giver especially when the children are very young. However, the father’s role is equally important and has a deep influence on the child’s development. Men are getting more involved in their children’s upbringing and playing the nurturing role equally with the women. In some cases, it is the father who stays home and the mother goes out to work.

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Fatherhood

Studies show that the age range of 18 to 35 years is the peak age for men to be affected by psychiatric disorders. This is the normal age range for men to become a father. The advice to men is to seek help when they face a problem in order to be able to play their parenting role more effectively.

If a father turns to the bottle or alcoholism for relief, then he is risking even more. Studies have shown links between alcoholism and conduct disorders problem in children where they behave destructively and aggressively and also abuse substance. In addition, paternal alcoholism has been associated with a higher risk of low self-esteem, mood disorders, depressive symptoms, poor performance in school and social problems.

Parents who have bipolar disorders may produce adolescents who are ten times more likely to develop bipolar disorder compared to normal adolescents with healthy parents. Hence, paternal depression and other problems do exist and fathers are advice to seek treatment instead of keeping quiet if they want to ensure their family’s wellbeing.

A study of 100,000 children born between 1980 and 1996 was done and it was found that the fatality rate is higher for children whose father is over 45 years of age. These children by older fathers died due to problems related to congenital defects, for example of the heart and spine as well as epilepsy, schizophrenia and autism. The study compared the deaths of children of older fathers to the children fathered by men aged between 25 and 30 years of age.

Sperm quality affected by ageing

Of the total children studied above, 830 have died even before the age of 18 and many of whom were below the age of one. Another research found that older fathers were more likely to father a child with Down’s syndrome that is four times higher. An explanation for this may be due to the genetic quality of sperm which deteriorates as the men gets older.

Throughout the years, most research is focused on the mother instead of the father. Most people are aware of the increased risks from having an older mother, for example higher rates of Down syndrome which is one in 100 by the age of 40. The risk of miscarriages also increases with the mother’s age. However, people should also be aware of the increased risk posed by older fathers. Scientist is still unable to determine the exact effect or impact on the quality of sperm due to the ageing process. Hence it is not possible to detect problems or defects before conception.

Lower IQ link to late fatherhood

An additional reason to have children earlier is related to a study that found that fathers who have children later have higher risk of having children with slightly lower IQs. Older fathers have been link to children that scored lower on various tests that cover speaking, arithmetic, reading, motor skills, etc. Researchers found that men’s testosterone levels start to decrease gradually at age 30. The recommended or ideal age for men to have children is in the 20s and early 30s.

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Now that your child is born, you must be wondering what role you will be playing in his life. Common questions like, “Will I need to change nappies?” or “Do I need to feed the baby?”, will certainly come to play in your mind.

Nowadays, with the majority of women going out and building a career for themselves, their role is no longer fixed to that of a stay at home mom. So, with the partner also working, the man is expected to play an even bigger role in the household.

What model of fatherhood you choose to play must suit everyone – yourself, your partner and your child. Your skills combined with your partner’s skills will ensure that your child has an all-rounded upbringing.

Some of the roles you may choose to play are:

• You want to shoulder the childcare responsibility equally.

• You want to help around the house, completing household chores like cooking and cleaning.

• You want to have equal say on all matters or issues relating to the child.

• You only want to play your dad role during the weekends.

• You do not mind to ‘babysit’ your child but hates to do the housework.

• You want your partner to take care of everything related to childcare and you will help out only when you are free.

• You are only interested to do the fun things with your child and leave the serious matters to your partner.

As you can see, there are multiple roles that you can take on. As a new dad, you may have to rethink about your priorities, to ensure you get to play the role that you want. Besides work responsibilities and marriage responsibilities, you now have parenting responsibilities. Therefore, to find a happy work-life balance, set your priorities clear and discuss with your partner about your role.

Are you a dad already? What role are you currently playing in your child’s life?

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Are you looking forward to the prospect of being a father or dad? If you are, great! If you and your spouse have been planning to have a baby, then this is a happy occasion indeed. This is surely one of the landmark points in your life.

Your spouse will be the one carrying and nurturing the baby inside her womb. As the father-to-be, how do you support your partner during the pregnancy? Well for a start, you can always attend the antenatal appointments with her. Some of the benefits you will get are:

• You can see your baby on the ultrasound scan and start to form a bond with your unborn baby.

• You are certainly supporting your partner as this is a new experience for her as well.

• You are involved in the pregnancy from the very beginning and are aware of the progress each step of the way. If there are complications, you can discuss the pregnancy with the doctor together with your spouse and ensure that the pregnancy is progressing smoothly.

• Inadvertently your knowledge will increase and prepare you for future pregnancies.

I f your spouse is attending antenatal classes, be sure to go with her. Together, you will learn what to expect during labor and birth. Your support and help will be expected when the actual time to give birth comes.

Other things to do with you partner are:

• Spend time and enjoy each other’s company as much as possible as when the baby arrives, your time alone will be limited.

• Go shopping and buy the necessary things or equipment for the baby.

• You and your partner may want to take a tour of the maternity unit or ward before the due date.

• You may start to prepare the baby’s nursery or room such as painting and decorating.

• You and your partner may want to discuss potential names for your baby.

There you have it, the above are suggestions for the new dad on how you can share the experience of pregnancy with your partner. Both of you may have your concerns, worries or questions, so talk openly to each other and look for the answers or solutions as a couple.