Generally, parents want their children to have a happy and enjoyable childhood. Sometimes this translates to wanting their children to have good fun and less workload. These parents normally hold the belief that the harsh world of heavy responsibility will soon catch up on their children.

Having and practicing this kind of belief may cause your children to have less practice on taking responsibility for their own life. Wise parents on the other hand would do less for their children, giving their children the opportunity to learn important things on responsibility, resourcefulness and competency.

Wise parents will help their children in areas where they are not competent yet like preparing their food (cooking) but should let their children do their own work. If your child request for your help, it should be helping him to use his own means to help himself. Children learn best by doing things for themselves. When parents are being overly helpful, it hampers these useful learning experiences that their children require.

When children learn to do things for themselves, they gain self-confidence in the process. This is important as they need to feel self-confident knowing they have control over their own lives.

Children who are not given the opportunity to learn through trial and error and a make mistakes may doubt their ability to solve problems later on. Their parents may have always performed tasks for them with the intention of wanting the things done properly and right. This situation may back-fire where the children will instead demand help from the parents without trying as they doubt their own ability. To get help, the children may demand, cry, whine and even throw temper tantrums.

Therefore, always ask your children first if they need help. Parents should not interfere if the children are capable of doing things for themselves even though the results may not be up to the parent’s standards or expectations. Lastly, if you offer to help, do it in a way that teaches your child to be resourceful in order to solve the problem faced.

photo credit: preciouskhyatt

Parents wanting to make their children happy or wanting to avoid a temper tantrum from happening often succumb to the “gimmes” demanded by their children.

Parents often hold the thought that their children will be deprived if they do not give their kids whatever they want. In addition, these parents believe they owe their kids and must give in to their children’s demand.

It is alright to give the children what they need such as nutritional food, a loving home and family, clothing and education. However, parents have to be cautious not to over indulge in their children’s “wants” as these may lead to negative consequences.

What are the signs of a “spoiled” child?

Children who have been spoiled or overindulged are susceptible to emotional problems. The following are some of the signs to look out for:

• They seldom take responsibility for their actions.

• They are not well accepted as they are inclined to be self-centered.

• They have a problem relating to other people.

• They tend to base the value of human relationship on money and material things.

• They have feelings of insecurity and doubts about their own self-worth. Hence, they often seek approval and acceptance from other people.

• They normally do not take care of things or possessions as they are used to getting new things.

• They will often have problems as adults when they do not get what they want easily.

So, parents beware if your are giving your child too much. Remember that in life there will always be someone who has “more” and your children will encounter them many times. As wise parents, you should always remind your children of the blessings they have and to appreciate or be grateful for what they already have.

Your children will learn about self-control, humility, delayed gratification and generosity among other things.

photo credit: dawnhops

Every parent has experience temper tantrums with their child where the child suddenly shows an outburst of uncontrolled emotion. It is commonly seen in young children ages two to four years old.

Identify the source

Parents need to know that temper tantrums are spontaneous and not intentional. The source can be environmental or external factors like loud noises or over stimulation or it can be from the child’s natural development of social, verbal and cognitive skills, the child’s emotional maturity or he may just be fatigue or hungry.

Tantrum myths

Tantrums can be triggered by separation anxiety, frustration, fear or the need for attention. Below are some myths about temper tantrums that are false and may change your misconception about it.

• It is unhealthy. The truth is temper tantrums are normal and is a way for the child to release their strong emotions.
• It reflects bad parenting. The truth is it has no relation to the parenting skills. However, parenting skills and knowledge are necessary in dealing and solving tantrum problems.
• The child is bad. The truth is tantrums are not bad and neither is the child. As mentioned earlier, the child does not purposefully plan to have a tantrum.
• It is the child’s way of manipulation. This is true for ‘attention tantrums’ only and not for other occurrences.

How to deal with tantrums?

Know beforehand that there is no one solution that can solve or deal with the different types of tantrums. Not only every child is unique, their tantrums may vary from one child to another. Parental emotional response to a tantrum is as important as understanding why the child is having a tantrum. So, the best place to start is to know the source of the tantrum and learn the best way to deal with it.

Identifying the type of tantrum, examples are given below:
• Separation tantrum
• Possession tantrum
• Power struggle tantrum
• Emotional tantrum
• Attention tantrum
• Frustration tantrum