In Part I of the same title, I covered the various causes of childhood obesity. Like me, I believe most of you were surprised to see that there were so many possibilities. In Part II, I will talk about the various options for treating childhood obesity.

#1: Diet
This is a basic control needed and to be expected for weight control. You may have to get a professional dietician or nutritionist to design a suitable, healthy and balance diet for your child.

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#2: Exercise
This is also a basic element required to be implemented in daily life to promote a healthy weight. It is recommended that 30 minutes of aerobic activity daily like running, swimming or cycling be included to burn the extra calories.

photo credit: Jimee, Jackie, Tom & Asha

#3: Changes in lifestyle
If your child is used to eating in front of the television, you may want to change this bad habit by making him eat at table at a fix time everyday. This will promote some control or discipline to his eating time and habit. Modifying his eating habits will help his weight control in the long run.

#4: Useful tips

• Do not use food to offer as a reward or a treat when the child is upset.

• As a wise parent, give encouragement and stress that his self-worth is not attached to his looks or body.

• You can also encourage your child to monitor himself or the food he eats and the exercise he did to promote self-control.

• Limit snacking to healthy food or snacks.

In an older posting entitled “4 Ways to Teach Your Children Responsibilities“, I suggested that one way to teach your children responsibility is by giving them chores. The following is a list of ‘age-appropriate’ chores, tasks or activities suitable for your children.

2 – 3 years
• Picking up their toys and putting them away
• Get or fetch things when requested or asked
• Throw things into the rubbish bin
• Put their clothes in the hamper for washing

3-4 years
• Do all of the above
• Clear away the plates or dishes from the table
• Put away laundered clothes
• Help in setting the table

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4 – 5 years
• Do all of the above
• Help to put in the laundry for washing
• Make their bed themselves
• Can fold laundered clothes
• Help in putting away the groceries
• Water the plants

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5 – 6 years
• Do all of the above
• Feed the pets
• Help in meal preparation, for example washing the vegetables
• Help clean the pet’s cage or area

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6 – 7 years
• Do all of the above
• Sweep the floor
• Help with gardening/ yard work
• Help prepare and pack their lunch (e.g. sandwiches or fruits)

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The other advantages of allowing your children to practice the tasks are they develop their independence and self-esteem. According to the Montessori’s teaching, a child’s mind is very ‘absorbent’ from birth through age six. During this period, the natural ability to learn languages and to develop brain activity patterns are at the peak or most receptive.

Moreover, every wise parent would want to encourage their children to develop independence fast through self-care activities and through completing household chores.

Parents are expected to praise their children often. Praising someone means giving positive judgments to that person. When you praise your child, it reinforces his satisfaction about what he has done or his behavior. Praising him does not raise his low self-esteem.

How and when to give praise?

It is best to limit and give praise when the situation or occasion is right. Therefore, it will be more meaningful for the child. The praise must be warranted and truthful. When it is done so freely, the value of the praise is diminished and your credibility goes down,

It is also recommended to give praise as reinforcement of the child’s feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment. When the child is feeling good about himself, the praise given to him will be more effective and carry more weight.

Timing the praise is also important. When the child feels good and is given praise, it shows that you are in tune to his feelings. Your child will trust your judgment more because it relates to their own personal one. This will help when you give criticism as your child will believe your judgment. Hence, it helps to maintain the trust and communication between you and your child.

When you give praise, your children know that you are paying attention, watching them and showing that you care. So, give praise to your child when he deserves it and expects one from you. You are reinforcing your role as a wise and good parent. Be selective however to the number of times as overdoing it may diminish the value of the praise.

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In my previous article “The Top 10 Criteria to be a Wise & Successful Parent”, I mentioned that some of the criteria are to be able to provide the necessities in life (material needs), i.e. food, shelter and clothing and to provide a stable and comfortable home for your children.

Well in order to be able to fulfill that requirement, the parents have to be financially stable. One way to ensure stability is by controlling your finances, i.e. keeping track of your spending, eliminating your debts and building up your savings. Money that has been spent is gone and debts will take more of your money away due to the interest payments.

Money issues

It is a common fact that married couples with or without children argue about money or finances at one time or another. It is no secret that it is one of the sensitive issues for married couples and one of the top causes for couples to break-up or get a divorce.

As a wise parent, you know that it is your responsibility to ensure that the family’s finances are in good order. However, it is difficult to ensure this if both parents do not openly talk about it, do not want to acknowledge their financial problems or if only one parent is handling the finances or they just do not know where to begin.

Where to start?

If you have no idea where to begin, then I suggest that you watch the TV show “Til Debt Do Us Part”, hosted by a woman named Gail Vaz Oxlade who is a Canadian financial writer. In the show, she works with married couples that are facing financial problems and helps them to get their finances back on-track. She normally starts off by touring the couple’s home to see how well they live. She does a detail check on their actual spending and most of the time, the couples are caught spending way above their income, in other words, living beyond their means. It is not surprising then to see the high debt accumulation.

To help the couples, Gail will give them a few challenges or assignments that address the root cause of their problem. The goal of course is to improve their financial situation. To begin with, the couples are requested to live on a strictly cash budget and to record down all their spending. This is to encourage the couples to keep track of their spending and is aware where their money is going. The cash money is kept in jars allocated for various purposes like food, transportation, entertainment, clothing and gifts. Earlier on, she had confiscated the couple’s credit cards to ensure that there is no more debt accumulation. In one show, she actually freezes the cards in a container of water.

The are weekly challenges to be completed such as the ‘Life Lesson Challenge’, the ‘Budget Booster Challenge‘, the ‘Future Plan Challenge‘ and the ‘Relationship Rescue Challenge’. In one show, the couples are requested to move to a cheaper abode as their financial situation does not allow them to stay at their current home. In another show, the couple is requested to find ways to increase or boost up their income. In the relationship rescue assignment, the couple must work together and communicate with each other to complete the task given. At the end, the important thing for the couple is that they learn about their money mistakes and take control of their finances. Most importantly, they work together as a couple to address their problems and hence in the process become a better parent.

Successful ending

Finally at the end of the show, the couple will be rewarded with $5000 for successfully completing the challenges or assignments, which is used to help them pay down their debts. I have seen couples that only get partial of that amount when they were unsuccessful during the challenges. Overall, the couples would have learned to control their spending, to do budgeting, to have a debt repayment plan in placed and to have a long-term savings plan.

So if you want to be a wise parent and ensure your family’s finances are in order, you might benefit from watching this TV show. You can watch it on Channel 733 on Discovery Home & Health by the satellite TV provider, ASTRO (Malaysia). You may also check out Gail Vaz Oxlade’s website at http://gailvazoxlade.com where she answers questions from the public about money and finances.

Wise parents would want to teach their children about money, where it comes from, the usage and so on. This article is written with your child as the reader in mind. It is meant to be a guide on money and to be read by both the parent and child together. The parent’s job is to elaborate more on the ideas mentioned in this article. The purpose is to give your child an introduction and a general idea about the function of money.

How did money begin?

A long, long time ago, bartering or the exchange of things or goods was carried out, as money did not exist yet. People traded the things they possess for other things that they do not have. They traded animals like cows, pigs and sheep. Grains and salt were also common as were tea, tobacco, rubber, beads and animal furs.

photo credit: Jarosław Pocztarski

In addition, metal items made of copper, gold, silver, tin and lead were also popular in the form of pots, tools, weapon and jewelry. Eventually, metal was chosen to be the most convenient and the best choice to barter with and coins were produced. However, coins were too heavy in big quantity and paper money was introduced. Today, both coins and paper money are so commonplace all over the world.

photo credit: tao_zhyn

Why do people need money?

People use money for a lot of different reasons. Some of which are:
• To buy things that they want
• To buy things that they need
• To help fulfill or meet some of their dreams or goals. For example, to go on a trip or to learn something or to pick up a skill.
• To make it possible for them to assist other people. For example, by donating some of their money to an organization or to the church.

photo credit: Eleventh Earl of Mar

Where do you get the money?

Your parents may give you some money as an allowance or you may have earned that allowance by doing some chores or work around the house. On special occasions like your birthday, you may also receive money instead of a present. If you sell something to another person like toys or books, that person will normally pay you with money.

You will also get or make money if you provide your services. For example, by cutting the grass, by washing the car, by doing babysitting work, by giving tuition to a younger child, by doing housecleaning and by running errands. The money that you get from your allowance and from doing chores or providing services is called an “income”.

photo credit: jermudgeon

What do you do with the money?

You can decide to save the money, spend the money or give it away. Saving money for example, in a piggy bank is for the purpose of saving it for future use. You can ask your parents to open a savings account for you in a bank where it is much safer.

photo credit: ken +

You may also decide to give away or donate some of your money for a good cause. The money can also be spent, as you like. It is important to spend wisely so that you do not use up all of your money. Some money can be used to buy things that are really important (needs) and other things that are fun (wants).

A way of keeping track of your money is to make a list first of what you want to buy (expenses) and the money you have (income). This is called budgeting. Always remember to save part of your money and not to overspend. You will never run out of money if your income is always higher than your expenses. If you keep this up over time, your money will continue to grow more and may be useful to you in the future.

For more great ideas on money, refer to the Carnival of Investing Strategies.

If you conducted a survey asking people what are the criteria that makes for a wise and successful parent, you would probably get a varied answer. It is understandable as even child experts have different views in this matter. Hence, you will find in this article all the necessary requisites to make a wise and successful parent.

Read through the list and see whether you meet all the criteria. Don’t worry if you don’t as this gives you the opportunity to improve on your parenting skills.

The wise, good, successful and superb parent fulfills the following criteria:

• Able to provide a nurturing and happy environment for your children to grow (a stable home).

It is a fact that children from a stable home will grow up to be productive and conscientious adults.

• Able to provide the necessities in life (material needs), i.e. food, shelter and clothing.

A certain comfortable level of needs must be met to ensure proper growth and development.

• Able to provide advice, emotional support, guidance and unconditional love among other things.

Children with all their emotional needs being met are conditioned to become better adults. Children who grew up in a loving environment becomes a loving person.

• Able to provide safety, structure and protection.

During the growing-up years, children need to feel protected, safe and secure. They need to feel some solid family structure in their lives that they can depend on as they go through childhood anxieties.

• Able to provide proper rules to introduce discipline and responsibility.

Children need to learn abut rules, about limitations and what is right or wrong. These valuable experiences will teach them to be a discipline and responsible adult. Rules are made to curb them from doing bad things and at the same time, they learn about taking responsibility for their actions.

• Able to provide unlimited opportunities for their children to learn and make mistakes and learn back from those mistakes.

Opportunities should be given or created to improve their social skills, leadership skills, discipline and self-control. Children learn things from the home, the school, their environment and most importantly from their own unique life experiences. The more situation or opportunities they encounter, the more valuable experiences they will gather. It can be good or bad experience. They learn what life is all about and this builds up their character.

• Able to provide opportunities for their children to be who they are and does not force their own expectations on them.

Children need to be allowed to be who they are and feel loved for it. They should not feel pressured to conform to their parent’s expectations.

• Able to provide quality time to be spent with the children, talking and listening and doing things together.

Parents must get close to their children by spending time and doing things together. Parents who spent quality time with their children will form stronger bonds compared to those who don’t.

• Able to provide spiritual and moral guidance.

Children who were brought up with a strong spiritual background and good moral guidance are more likely to grow to be a virtuous person.

• Able to provide encouragement and give praise when necessary.

Your children will face a lot of challenges and disappointments while growing up. As a parent, you can give your support, encouragement and praise at appropriate times. Your children will learn to pick themselves up and move on in adverse situations.

Be a good role model

The above criteria are all essential. However, most importantly do not forget to provide a good example or role model to your children. Research has shown that parents who are responsible and hardworking tend to have children who are responsible and hardworking. Parents who are happy and easy-going tend to have children who are happy and easy-going.

On the flip side, parents who are short-tempered creates an unstable atmosphere at home which rubs off on their children. Parents who lack social skills will not be able to show and teach their children how to interact and relate with other people. Therefore, always keep in mind the influence you have on your children.

The parent’s reward

What is the end result of being a wise, good, successful and superb parent? The parent’s reward is in having children who are responsible, honest, mature, intelligent and dependable and having good emotional (high self-esteem) and social skills development. How many parents long for their children to have all these good qualities? I believe all parents want their children to possess all these good and excellent qualities.

Parents who have worked on their parenting skills and fulfill most of the criteria above shall no doubt have more confidence in their children. As parents, we never went to a parenting school and what we learn is mostly from the school of ‘hard-knocks’, learning from mistakes and experience. In addition, we also pick up things through observation and from our own childhood experience. You should realize that parenting is not an exact science and there is no a one-size-fits all formula for successful parenting.

In summary, my goal as a parent is the same as your goal and that is to provide a conducive growing up environment that enables the child to learn, make mistakes and make the most of herself. From the whole process, I hope that my child grows up to become a responsible mature adult.

Please share your ideas of what makes for a wise, good and successful parent. Your views and comments are most welcome.

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