How to Improve Your Parenting Skills?

The book ‘Know Your Parenting Personality’ by Janet Levine details nine personalities based on Enneagram (E-model) theory. The Greek word ‘ennea’ means ‘nine’ and ‘gram’ means ‘graph or model’.


Know Your Parenting Personality

Understanding these personalities can guide you to become a better parent. Some of the desired goals are to establish a strong connection with your child, to change self-defeating behavior patterns and to deepen the communication with your child.

The nine personalities explained in simple and straightforward language are:

  1. The helper
  2. The organizer
  3. The dreamer
  4. The observer
  5. The questioner
  6. The entertainer
  7. The protector
  8. The peacekeeper
  9. The moralizer

My parenting personality

After going through the nine personalities, I identified myself to fall under ‘The observer’ parent. I learnt that my positive characteristics are the following:

  • Rationality
  • Calmness and balance
  • Objectivity
  • Creative synthesizing of ideas
  • Big picture thinking
  • Predictability
  • Non-judging
  • Restraint

The negatives of being an ‘Observer’ parent are:

  • Requires privacy, guards time and energy
  • Draws back from personal interactions
  • Secrecy, overvalues independence
  • Prefers non-engagement in emotions
  • Tendency to be minimalistic in the physical world
  • Lacks spontaneity, emphasizes controlling emotions
  • Overvalues the self, takes a detached, observing stance
  • Compartmentalizes, keeps family, work, other areas of life separate
  • Non-communicative, interactions can be problematic

The book also describes strategies to overcome the shortcomings of each personality. For myself, I need to take the following actions:

  • Show my emotions
  • Practice role-model spontaneity for the children
  • Trust myself to do the right thing
  • Allocate more time to handle conflict
  • Put more effort to share myself with my family
  • Be more aware of my needs for energy management
  • Manage my big-picture thinking
  • Practice social skills

Once you have finished the book, you would have gained the essential knowledge about your personality type and have a deeper understanding on your parenting strategy. If you have patiently gone through the material, you would have a better sense of self-awareness that will help you to become a better parent.

If you have a strong desire and sense of purpose to improve your parenting skills then I recommend you to pick up the book as soon as possible and start on the journey for yourself.